Infinite Crisis #6: How I Turned Into a Bitter Fanboy

These days, I’m pretty bitter about comic books. Think of me at the guy who will shout at you kids these days and lament how everything used to be better back in my day. I realize that I’m probably wrong and comics today are still pretty good. So it begs the question: why am I a bitter fanboy? Why can I look at most modern comics and get really pissed off at what I see?

infinitecrisis6

There were so many things wrong with this issue. So many things. I’m just giving you a small sample of it with a touch of commentary. I believe there’s a way to pause the slideshow. So please do so and enjoy… rest assured I wouldn’t subject you to the inane writing of the issue… well, the series was terribad in its own right, but that’s for another day.

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Okay. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Keep breathing….

Alright. Back. Just had to run off and scream for a second.

A huge problem in this book that most comic fans seemed to overlook or not realize is how much it threw away a year’s worth of story for the sake of cool moments. The Spectre moment is an example of that. The Spectre was on a rampage for roughly a year, destroying all things magic. Through plot-related means, the Spectre came back under control and should have helped everyone out with the horrible situation. It would have made sense and would have been a satisfying way to wrap up the story arc. In case it wasn’t obvious, there was zero payoff. Just the Spectre killing rather than helping.

Yay heroics.

What sent me the edge into becoming a bitter fanboy was the way Superboy was killed. To have Superboy killed off, the writers had to intentionally ignore the largest and longest running plot point in the lead up to Infinite Crisis as well as in Infinite Crisis.

6

Nightwing and Superboy: peeping toms

The OMACs. One OMAC was powerful enough to give Superman trouble. Two of them nearly killed Batman. These guys fought the Amazons to a standstill… which was impressive since the Amazons possess the technology, military prowess, ¬†and firepower to conquer the world. We are told there are hundreds protecting the magical tower of magicalness where heroes are plugged into for magical reasons. The actual description of the tower is far more unbelievable, so just go with me on this.

We have the future splatter mark teaming up with a guy in a mask, ready to attack. Wonder Girl shows up soon after. Three heroes, one of them incapable of doing anything against the OMACs. Two of them not powerful enough to do anything against the OMACs other than batting them away for a few seconds. This is going to be a disaster. That is, if the entire OMAC story arc wasn’t tossed aside.

7Oh look, the OMACs are missing everything. They couldn’t stop Dick Grayson from climbing the magical tower of magicalness to free the heroes plugged in. They can’t hit future splattermark at all. And the sad part… that’s the most we see of the OMACs in this “fight.” The most powerful enemy in the entire freaking story up to this point and they become storm-troopered.

The OMACs are such non-entities that the heroes could afford to stand around and hang out in the middle of the battlefield. An entire year’s worth of story thrown away all for a cheap moment. I must have spent over a hundred dollars on God knows how many comics in the build-up to Infinite Crisis. And I know for a fact how important the OMACs were and the threat they posed. Guess what? They aren’t a threat anymore… for no reason whatsoever.

Oh, and future splattermark?

11The OMACs don’t even touch him while he’s destroying the magical tower of magicalness. Rather, they decide to attack the female….. say… why the hell are females being attacked so much? Future splattermark over there is actually a threat. He’s about to destroy the tower and they are supposed to protect it. So what do that do? Get the woman! It’s like the OMACs have a program called “girls are yucky” or something.

But anyways, a bigger, tougher guy shows up called Superboy Prime and he beats up everyone. Superboy grabs Superboy Prime and flies him through the magical tower of magicalness. And then this happens.

12

I think Superman may have spiked Superboy a touch too hard there.

So Superboy died. Despite the OMACs who should have been able to drive him away… stopped him from freeing the other heroes. When I finished the issue, my jaw dropped. I expected to see the DC fans in an uproar over this crap writing. But all I saw was praise about how Superboy sacrificed himself and people who wanted to see him resurrected. Nobody seemed to realize how much of the lead up had to be ignored in order for Superboy to have died in the first place.

If comic book writers can ignore plot points in order to create “cool moments,” what made those plot points important in the first place? Why bother having them when they can be ignored at the first possible opportunity? I’m sure comic book writers would say something like wanting the fans to enjoy the ride and for them to just sit back and enjoy the story…

For me? I’ll take story consistency. I’d rather have the build-up to a story mean something to the actual story. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for. Do you?

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