Co-Op, PVP And All Things Girly.

Well, first things first.

Hello everybody! I’m ashenrenegade and I’m here to dig up a topic that has been plaguing both myself and a fair number of my friends.

Sexism in gaming.

It’s truly ridiculous that it’s gotten to the stage where if I even turn on my headset whilst waiting in a lobby there is a high chance of at least one of the following happening;

1) I will be kicked. (Often the most likely, sadly)

2) I’ll get a flood of friend requests from people who I don’t know and, quite frankly, don’t want to know.

3) I’ll get cussed out. (Bearing in mind this has only happened a couple of times and the abusers were prepubescent, playing Modern Warfare 3 and were just dying to tell me how many times they’d slept with my mother.)

I know both male and female players that have been unreasonably kicked from lobbies, this is true, but it seems to be exclusively female players that have been removed from lobbies because of their gender. It isn’t specific to just one game either; Mass Effect, Borderlands, Call of Duty, even Team Fortress 2 which appalled me. The list could indeed go on but not all of this is just my experience. One particular example which was my experience was in the Mass Effect 3 lobbies quite a few months ago. I joined a Silver lobby with a level 20 Vanguard who was well equipped for the tier – she could’ve probably done Gold, actually. I turn my headset on to say good luck and to shout if anyone needed a hand.

Next thing I know, I’m back at the map.

It’s this kind of behaviour that’s steering both myself and other female gamers away from multiplayer gaming and more into singleplayer gaming. It’s a shame and unfair as I know for a fact – and this isn’t feminism talking here – that in the world of gaming girls can hack it just as well as the boys. I’m certainly not condemning all male gamers; I know that the majority are quite accepting of girls joining in the fun but it just takes one bad experience. The minority are what can sometimes cause the most damage. I am also not placing the whole blame entirely on this minority. I recognise that there are some people out there who are giving girls who play video games a bad name.

Breaking it down simply; there’s a difference between girl gamers and “Gamer Girls”.

Girl gamers are people like myself and other girls all over the world; we play games frequently because we enjoy them. It’s a hobby for some, a career for others. It’s a way to let off steam and feel good about yourself when you do well. Some play competitively, others casually. Exactly the same as any boy.

Now, “Gamer Girls” are something different entirely. They are often girls who know next to nothing about gaming but will go out of their way to pretend that they do to pique the attention of any male players they come across. I am sure everyone has encountered at least one and they are only giving girl gamers a bad name. Their over-exaggerated behaviour has become something of an embarrassment for the girl gaming community.


They then proceed to join lobbies of primarily male dominated games (Typically the likes of Call of Duty, Mordern Warfare, Battlefield, etc.) and proceed to do shockingly badly because they’ve quite obviously never played before. Their behaviour grabs male attention and they then do everything in their power to keep it. It only makes them more wary of genuine girl gamers and can sometimes spark the hostility. I can’t tell you how many pictures I’ve seen scattered across the internet of some girl in a skimpy shirt and underwear basically eating a PS3 or Xbox 360 controller in a bid to look sexy. This very unique form of public humiliation is often very far from the truth. I don’t know any girl gamer who would basically strip with the intent of plastering themselves all over the internet for the attention. We’re much more likely to be screaming at you for getting in the way. It’s true; our tempers can be quite violent.

Anyway, I think I’ve spewed enough at everyone for now. I just wanted to hopefully change a few peoples minds and remind other girls who had this problem that they’re by no means alone.

Well, I guess this is ashenrenegade signing off.


It’s slightly disturbing that the girls are never the ones with custom painted neon pink armour. Just saying.


3 comments on “Co-Op, PVP And All Things Girly.

  1. Been a single-player gamer since the 1990s. I have had nothing but bad experiences with multiplayer gaming in general ranging from dead communities to dealing with douchebags regardless of the game I’m playing on. Even the co-op centric titles are too frustrating, and I really hate feeling like I need to use other people as a crutch just to carry me through the game. I sold the entire Gears of War trilogy because of this bullshit. I never played Halo multiplayer after hitting Lieutenant in 3, much less Reach after beating that game solo on Legendary. As it is, gaming with my real-life buddies is as common as a needle in a haystack, considering we all have different schedules.

    As for gaming with female gamers (i.e. the girls that actually game), I don’t mind lending a hand here and there, and would like to meet people with some common decency. Unfortunately, most of the ones I ran into somehow get the impression that I rub them the wrong way for no apparent reason. As it is, I only know of three or four people that are at least sociable, and it is pretty sad.

    Gamertag: Lunatic LK47

    • I can totally empathise with your first statement. By and large I’m a singleplayer gamer myself and have been for some time but sometimes multiplayer can be a refreshing change if you find a good lobby. It’s just a shame there’s so few of them. I’m not going to say I’m amazing at video games because I know I’m not; I’m good, but not fantastic and I’m okay with that. Even so, sometimes even I’m faced with a lobby of people who’d rather coast on the good players than work for it themselves and that kills my interest as sure as any of the topics I brought up in my post would.

      Yeeeeeah, as I touched on before some can have quite volatile personalities and some don’t. It’s luck of the draw really. It’s again quite sad because that can also be a deterrent for people to interact with those of us who DON’T have that kind of personality. I’m glad you took the time out of your day to reply, I really do appreciate it 🙂

      Gamertag: ashenrenegade3

      • Looks like we may be on the same level. I may be decent, but I’m not Special Forces-caliber. LOL. I noticed you have Saints Row 3. Will be more than happy to provide back-up for achievement hunting or doing replays for the lulz. Friend request is sent.

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